Super Toddler
Unless given
Ritalin at regular intervals, he dashes into Wal-Mart and turns into the red
faced, screaming beast who can shatter eardrums a mile away.
Oh wait, I just saw him this morning while grocery shopping.
Phil Jones
Super
Redneck
He crushes beer
cans with his bare hands and can stop a speeding train with a single belch.
Martin Martin
The
Steel Magnolia
She's
brilliant. She's beautiful. Junior Leaguers fear her. She wouldn't shoot a
whitetail deer, but has left men with their throats cut and was drinking
jalapeno mint martinis in Hotlanta before her victims knew they were bleeding.
Elizabeth Westmark
RoadKill
Man
Faster than a speeding
sports car, more powerful than a 4 wheel drive pickup, more miles on the road
than a tractor trailer, able to leap pot holes in a single bound... Watch out in
the fast lane! It's RoadKill Man!
Sheila Moss
Dog
Smogger
When
my son was two, he made up his own superhero. He would wear a droopy diaper down
to his knees with a turkey baster as his sword, stuck snugly in his diaper.
Around his neck he wore a towel and for his headgear, he wore a Steelers
football helmet. In his hand he carried a briefcase. He smeared ketchup on his
face to appear more vicious. I kid you not! We named him Dog Smogger because his
ultimate goal was to save all the kitty kats in the neighborhood. He would whisk
out his turkey baster and blast dogs in the snouts with a blast of air.
Carrie Metz-English
Queen Plunger
& The Super Duper Pooper
As
soon as I hear the struggling gurgle from our clogged toilets, I spring into
non-stop action rescuing our porcelain pods from mounds of toilet paper, little
green army guys, bagels, broccoli and yes, poop. Lots and lots of poop. C'mon
mamas, I know you are out there. It's time to reveal your secret identities like
DIAPER DEFENDER, LAUNDRY LYNCHER, COOTIE CRITIC, WATCHER OF HORMONE-CHALLENGED
TEEN BABYSITTERS, CHAMPION OF LATE NIGHT VOMIT SESSIONS and more. I know you're
out there. Stand tall. Be proud.
Uh-oh, I hear a gurgle. Gotta go. The life of a superhero-mom never ends.
Julie Watson Smith
