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  Updated 1-2-08




























What are a Southerner's Five Favorite Things about Summer?


Summer nights drinking beer on the front porch
Summer nights on the river, catfishing, drinking beer
Summer afternoons after working all day, drinking beer
Summer days sitting in the A/C drinking beer
Summer = excuse to drink more beer.  One must stay hydrated.


Has to be the biting chiggers, sucking mosquitoes, the evil weevil, 
burning fire ants and crawling road kill in a cornmeal batter.                                                             


Cold beer
Beer so cold ice forms in it after you take it from the fridge
Gnats keep the yankees away







Slurping watermelon with the kids
Homemade ice cream on the back porch  
No early bedtimes
Hot steaks and cold beer
Sitting on the bench swing watching the kids chase fireflies


Consoling the nervous dog while we watch the kids set off fireworks in the night sky.

Sweat dripping from my brow from working in the garden which will be replaced by the cool condensation that has formed on my mason jar full of sweet iced tea.

The smell of a water hose and fresh cut grass, fresh tomatoes, watermelon and charcoal grills.

The summer road trip vacation north to my sister's and my oldest son's.  Roadside picnics, feet dangling into cold creeks for refreshment.

A hot, dark night and a tall, cold beer--me in my white rocker, looking at the stars.


Swimming in your own sweat
Any activity that includes copious quantities of beer
Late night catfishing with Billie Jo Hooha
That first summer with indoor central AC
The sheer delight of sitting on the porch on a calm,
star-filled night, using fireflies or locusts to hone your
by-site-and-sound shotgun snap shooting skills.




Chicken Fried Steak

Not necessarily in that order.   ;-]


Air Conditioning - very popular in the south
Blooming flowers, azelea, magnolia, dogwood and such
Fruit slushies from Sonic
Fresh produce and cooking out


Trying to walk slow enough so as not to break a sweat.
With how bout them Braves and how bout that heat, never any lack of conversation.
Half as many clothes, half as much laundry.
With half as many clothes, never a lack of conversation,
especially at the beach.
Rabbits in the basement.



Copyright 2004 Southern Humorists
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