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The Envitable Truth


By Shag Baker





The envitable truth has happened.

I had really hoped this day would not come, but it has. It pains me to say it, but it is an immimicable truth.

I have gotten old.

Lemme 'splain.

Back in 'The Day', I was heavily involved in heavy metal music. I still love it, but not to the point that I once did. I wore the clothes, had the hair, the 'attitude' (such as it was), and the friends. I really enjoyed it. I constantly freak out my students when I appreciate some of their music and compliment them on their tastes. (That is another article)

So, this brings me to my point. After all, writing has to have a point, or there is no point. Har! (Ack, I pulled a muscle in my back...part of getting old)

Anyway, back to the topic.

I was surfing the internet and discovered, well, not really since I have long suspected some of my students were this, the fad of Emo.

And I don't get it.

Emo, for us old folks, is short for 'emotional'. Emo is also a subculture of 'Goth' (Again, another topic.) Essentially, emo kids are emotionally troubled and wear these feelings on their sleeves. I have seen pictures of emo-kids actually holding a knife to their wrist. Okay, it was a play knife, but still.

Additionally, emo requires a large degree of deeply-colored hair, strange bangs and lots of piercings to the point you look like you fell in my crankbait box. I don't even want to start on the clothes.

I still don't get it.

Ironically, the whole point behind emo is to appear as if you are worse off than you actually are. For instance, whining that your new iPod only holds 1 gazillion songs instead of 2 gazillion, or your cell phone is more than 6 months old, or God forbid, you have to work Friday night at the pizza joint.

And then there is the music, which is supposed to be about pain, sorrow, etc.

Strange, I thought country music had that locked years ago. I do recall one David Allen Coe wrote the perfect country-western song that eclipses any 'emo' rock/music/song/bad poem/etc around.

Of course, listening to country music is too uncool for emo, no matter how sad it really is. Which is ironic, because the whole point, near as I can figure, is to be uncool, just like everyone else.

Suffice to say, when one of my two come home and decide to be 'emo' and mope about how miserable their lives are, I will take them to the spot their grandfather was born.

No electricity, running water, indoor plumbing, etc. Or worse yet, I will subject them to sitting at a table with their uncle (Jake calls him Ben-Ben) and Nona while Ben-Ben and I torture them with the horror stories of how miserable our lives once were and how they have it so much better than we ever had it.

I could also put them on top of a tractor for Jerry if they really want to be miserable. Nothing like 10 hours on a tractor to really give you time to decide how terrible your life ain't.

I still don't get 'emo', but then again, I am getting old.

Copyright Shag Baker 


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