Ode to a Solicitor


Resident, Occupant, Most Honored Guest
We put your loyalty to our tenth test
Enter our contest, life won't be the same
Our answering machine is waiting, please hold the phone.
A thrilling adventure awaits the tone
Oh just let your imagination roam
As our gimmick once invades your home.

A Rekindled Spark

At a summer reunion at the town court
I made an observation of a most puzzling sort
As smoke rose to the sky from the ground below
My Mammy's interest in my Daddy suddenly began to grow
Although I'm growing more mature by each passing day
And know in my heart what I'm not yet ready to say
I'm just a young gal approaching adolescence
My mammy has this new radiant glow like fluorescence
I'm not sure whether I should be happy though I'm feeling more appalled
My Mammy keeps flirting with my Daddy just cause he's growing gray and bald
My Mammy treats my daddy like copper plated with gold
It seems strange as this is such a thrill
It's clearly evident to me that both are over the hill.

A Redneck Jalopy

rusty, dusty, rattles when wind is gustyz
old, full of mold, and cobwebs too

miles of usage from work and vacations
passed on since invention to four generations

owned and maintained by limited means
with an interior finished with rags and blue jeans

a vehicle whose description is beyond redemption
bended body work and dragging suspension
Made it through seasons of hurricanes, twisters, and trials

The odometer reads 600,000 miles
As it's hitched to a tow truck, tears stream from my eyes

It's painful enough that even the toughest man cries.

It's not the smoothest ride,
would help if tires had air inside

shock absorbers need replacing of course
get a smoother ride riding bareback on a horse

Take pride cause it's a most rare antique
decorated with colors and patches in a style so unique

raced by its owner with absolutely no inhibitions
It's not wonder it's in this very sad condition

It's a reason why legends are born
cattle disperse when hearing its horn

The subject of music and county folklore
with every tool from a rural hardware store

Every part shipped from another place
Torn frayed seats need to be replaced

Been through at least four or five transmissions
Mechanics now consider repairs, impossible missions