home search help contact




Shag's Summer Ressle Pees

By Shag Baker


Y'all keep asking for ressle-pees, so I thought to share some of my favorites.

Watermelon anything: Take one watermelon, find large cliff, throw watermelon off cliff, waiting for the satisfying "splat". Leave, go fishing, after stopping at raghead for beer and veeaneers.

Summer Drinks: Take one large cooler, fill with beer, coat beer with ice. Let stand for a while. Open cooler, take beer, open beer, consume. Repeat until out of beer.

BBQ: Get one of the following: any edible member of the kingdom animalia. Throw on G'pa's or Uncle Mickey's BBQ pit. Cook. Add liberal amounts of beer for flavor and to keep hydration levels up; it is summer after all.

'Mater Sammich:
Take two slices light bread, mayo, mater, salt, pepper. Slather mayo on light bread. Slice ' mater, place on light bread. Salt and pepper to taste. Consume with beer.

Fish Fry:
Take cleaned fish, toss in cornmeal, deep fry. Eat while drinking beer, playing cards and watching youngin's play.

Bourbon and Coke: Take half gallon of bourbon, fruit jar, ice and coke. Fill fruit jar with ice, add bourbon. Glance at coke for flavor. Sip bourbon.

What y'all think?

Copyright (believe it or not) Shag Baker


Southern Humorists

- Chicken & Road 
- Writing Contest
- Naming a Hamster
- Bad Love Poems
- Boiled Peanuts
- Tipsy Chicken
- Marriage Advice
- Snake Handlin'
- Rhubarb
- Bacon Grease
- Ressel Pees
- Sassafras
- Fried Jelly Beans
- Sneaky Snake
- Snipe Huntin'
- Super Dudes
- Big Butts
- Redneck Car
- Purty Peggy
- Summer Thangs
- Tub O' Lard
- W'men or Girls
- Exclamation Mark
- Cut the Mustard
- Rooster Contest


Southern Humorists 
Humor Writers
  Humor Columnists
  Funny Bloggers 
Comedy Writers
 Online Support & 
Journalist Trade 
Discussion Group
Est. 2003

     Southern Humorists Trucker Hat
SoHum Merchandise

Redneck American Gothic

Dixie Dispatch

   Featured Writer at Southern Humorists

Grab a Button!.

Members' Websites
& Blogs

Frequently Asked



Promote Your Page Too


Home  Team  Shop  Join   Dixie Dispatch   Banners  Contact Us

"We Cover the Country Like Kudzu"

Copyright 2013 Southern Humorists' Enterprises
Editor - Angela Gillaspie | Editor - Sheila Moss | Consulting Editor - Ben Baker | Moderator Mark Berryman
Dixie Dispatch by Angela Gillaspie | by Sheila Moss | Publicity Editor - Leeuna Foster