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Friends, here is my testimony short and
sweet. When it comes to personal hygiene, beautification and
even personal needs; there’s nothing handier than a tub of lard
Yes, the all natural gloss
and lubrication of rendered pork fat has served many a young lass well into
adulthood and beyond. You fellows out there have long
benefited from it, too! Lard is everyone’s beauty secret.
And it smells yummy, too!
Just look at this list of uses:
Lip
Gloss
Hair Conditioner and Dressing
Facial Moisturizer
Shaving Cream
Make-up Remover
Deodorant—a fragrance that is pleasing
to both man and beast!
Laxative
Shoe Polish
Hand and Body Cream
Personal lubricant
(why do you think they call it “makin’ bacon”! Sooeee!!)
Suntan lotion
Ointment for wounds and burns
All purpose seasoning
Dog training aid
Take it from me, when it came to beauty
and personal needs, Granny and Paw didn’t fret! Ain’t
nothing can’t be helped with a spoonful or two of pure lard.
Copyright 2004 Marta Martin
Contest Winning Column
Redneck Bath & Beauty &
Toiletries
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