Imagine my surprise. This morning I opened one of the countless emails Eddie Bauer sends me. We must be really good friends because I get more email from Eddie than most of my friends and relatives. But I don’t complain. His store is within walking distance and since I’m a casual kind of gal, I often shop there.

Any-hoo, back to the surprise. Scanning the email I noticed a promotional photo for something called an accelerant jacket. I must have a limited vocabulary because I’ve only heard that word used in relation to arson. “The perpetrator used newspapers and gasoline as an accelerant.” Then there is the similar word accelerator, that I’ve only heard used in relation to various kinds of motors.

Clicking on the photo I learned that this jacket has won “Choice” awards from both Climbers and Backpackers Magazines. It has all sorts of neat features and clings to the head and body for, I’m supposing, faster climbing.

Clinging jackets are not what I need. I try to buy clothes that hide the lumps, not accentuate them. Of course, if the jacket would shape me to fit it, I’d buy several. Accelerant jackets would be my new fashion statement. Even so, I’m a bit nervous about buying a jacket called Accelerant. I want to look hot, not be hot enough to barbecue my ribs.

Perhaps Eddie and I could sit down over a plate of ribs and a couple beers and discuss brand names.

© 2013 Sharon D. Dillon

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Sharon D. Dillon grew up in Ohio, lived most of her adult life in Wisconsin, and now lives in Williamsburg, VA. She holds B.A. in Professional Communications from Alverno College, Milwaukee, WI (1993) Sharon retired from the State of Wisconsin after 25 years and works part time at Busch Gardens and Jamestown Settlement/Yorktown Victory Center. She has one son, two daughters, two grandchildren, and three great-grandsons. She is interesting in healing modalities, such as Reiki and Transfigura-Regeneration, and has written for three newspapers and several magazines. Read more of her work at The Energy Writer blog.