Life with the wife, two daughters and a cat certainly has its fill of challenges and amusement.. I can't rightfully vouch for the normalcy of this life, and not being willing to shell out the money for an afternoon session with a psychiatrist; I did the next best thing. After much research, I found what I was sure to be a suitable test entitled, "Which Dr. Seuss character are you?"
The format is easy, with five simple questions to respond to: (1) What is your outlook on the world? (2) What do you think of your friends? (3) What are your problem solving skills? (4) What is your long-term goal? (5) Where would you most like to be? After carefully answering my questions, according to the results, I am most like Mr. Brown: "Observant and involved, there is little that escapes your notice. You absorb it all, and make sense of it, thought sometimes a bit noisily."
I must admit, I had mixed reviews of my diagnosis. I usually do absorb it all, but making sense of it is a different story. Again, I live with the wife and two daughters; there is just no way to make sense of a lot that I observe.
After my diagnosis by Seuss, I felt that perhaps the rest of the family should subject themselves to the same therapy; after all, being the observant one that I am, I figured they needed the test more than I did.
First up, the wife, who upon completion of the test is most like the Lorax: "Protective of the environment, you are the champion of the downtrodden, feeling the pain of those around you."
I was a bit amused that the character that she is most like is a bird! I couldn't help but laugh as I remembered our dating years when we were feeding the ducks at a pond one afternoon. A goose became quite upset with her when she ran out of bread. I watched the angry bird give chase to my future wife who eventually was goosed in the posterior! Feeling others' pain is a character trait she has rightfully earned, especially in marriage.
My oldest daughter and I were lumped in the same category, Mr. Brown. To be sure, there is little that escapes her notice; her keen eye and attentiveness is usually geared towards price tags in the stores where she shops. I am not sure what the record is for the most purses or shoes owned by a teenager, but I am convinced she comes close to the record. While this behavior is not uncommon in teenage girls, the reinforcement she receives from her mother and her Aunt (whom I am sure is a Mr. Brown also), only makes matters worse.
Finally, my youngest, the life of the party, is diagnosed as The Cat in the Hat: "Independent and imaginative, you're the risk-taker, even if it means being a little noisy."
I am convinced that every family should have at least one "Cat in the Hat" just for sanity's sake.
If family life could be characterized by Dr. Seuss book titles, some days life at home might be like, "If I ran the zoo," other days perhaps, "I am not going to get up today," and certainly some days would be like, "If I ran the circus." Given the spirit and laughter that the youngest brings, most days she makes me reach for the book "Did I ever tell you how lucky you are?"
If nonsense wakes up brain cells as Dr. Seuss claims, then I suppose I am about as awake as anyone can be. Our cast of characters will carry on under the watchful eye of Riley our cat, whose favorite book is "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish."
©Summerville Journal-Scene 2006