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  Updated 1-2-08

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Healthy Food Made Scary: McRevenge?

By Cheryl Dendy

For years, we've been bombarded by magazine covers, new stories, and commercials proclaiming the virtues of a healthy diet. Fresh fruits, fresh veggies, fish, proteins from nuts and soybeans rather than red meat. Fresh over fried.

You know that had to have the fast food guys steaming.

So a smear campaign emerged against fish...turns out they contain mercury. Bad for the kids! Pregnant women stay away!

Fast food, meanwhile, played it cool. Nothing could be traced to them, nosirree.

Then Jarrod came out half the man he used to be thanks to a place that, while technically fast food, was actually addressing the nutritional concerns of a nation. Fast food (the rest of fast food) worried and plotted.

The last straw, I think, the thing that drove the fast food conspiracy to action against the healthy food movement, was that documentary on super sizes. But they had to be careful, leaving no fingerprints.

Restaurants scrambled to come out with healthier choices, yelling, "Ta-DAAA" like it was all their idea in the first place.

Meanwhile, spinach came out that made people sick with e coli. Then LETTUCE...the worldwide staple of salad. Salad, yanno, from the Latin for "rabbit food." Another fast food chain was sacrificed for the greater good of the conspiracy, losing millions of dollars in business and left yelling, "Hey! Yo Quiero my customers back!"

Now they've just gone too far, attacking that pinnacle of childhood, that crown achievement of George Washington Carver, that glue of happy parent-child bonding (and grandparent-child, and even child-child bonding, as well). Salmonella in the peanut butter...oh, the humanity!

Where will it all end? Here's to hoping the conspiracy is weakened to the point of live and let live.

Course, my Sweetie thinks the jelly conglomerate just wants a bigger slice of the PB&J market...

But then, between you and me, he's kinda nuts.

* * * * * 

Cheryl Dendy, a.k.a. MamaKat, says her house has almost always been "outside of" some already-small town. She was born and mostly raised "outside of" Troy, Alabama. She guesses she is a redneck, cause directions to her house usually did include "and then you leave the paved road."  She now lives in the frozen North in Indiana, where it is sometimes 5 degrees Fahrenheit. She has three boys two ex-husbands, one boyfriend, two cats, and a certifiably insane extended family back in the Deep South, more than enough material for a long and lucrative writing career.

 

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