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Cousin Marta’s
Old Timey Beauty Secret

Redneck Bath & Beauty & Toiletries




Friends, here is my testimony short and sweet. When it comes to personal hygiene, beautification and even personal needs; there’s nothing handier than a tub of lard.

Yes, the all natural gloss and lubrication of rendered pork fat has served many a young lass well into adulthood and beyond. You fellows out there have long benefited from it, too! Lard is everyone’s beauty secret. And it smells yummy, too!

Just look at this list of uses:

Lip Gloss

Hair Conditioner and Dressing

Facial Moisturizer

Shaving Cream

Make-up Remover

Deodorant—a fragrance that is pleasing to both man and beast!


Shoe Polish

Hand and Body Cream

Personal lubricant
(why do you think they call it “makin’ bacon”! Sooeee!!)

Suntan lotion

Ointment for wounds and burns

All purpose seasoning

Dog training aid

Take it from me, when it came to beauty and personal needs, Granny and Paw didn’t fret! Ain’t nothing can’t be helped with a spoonful or two of pure lard.

Copyright 2004 Marta Martin


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