Southern Humorists


    Reopening negotiations with the North - One Laugh at a time.

Down Home
Good Ol'  Staff
Y'all Come Join
Dixie Dispatch
Get Our Ezine
Humor Shop
Buy Our Books
Our Writers
Theresa Adams
Sherri Bailey
Ben Baker
Shag Baker
Lisa Barker
Renee' Barnes
Mama Kat
Melissa Baumann
Mike Bay
Neal Beard
GL Benton
Mark Berryman
John L. Brazell
Brenda Birmelin
John Brock
Mitch Chase
Carson Cockman
Maxwell Courson
Willis Craik
Kevin Crawford
Steve Darnell
David Decker
Cheryl Dendy
Judy Diamond
Doug Dickerson
Horace J. Digby
Susie Dunham
Irv Eisenberg
Carrie English
Diane Estill
Leeuna Foster
Lisa Friedman
Karin Fuller
Bill Fullerton
Angela Gillaspie
Joe Giorgianni
Cathy Gregor
Tom Hale
Chase Hart
Robert Haught
Ken Hill
Wayne Hunt
Edward Hurst
Neil O. Jones
Phil Jones
Stephen Kramer
Marti Lawrence
Monica M.
Barbara Madden
Alice Masci
Bill Melton
Sheila Moss
George Motz
Mark Motz
Tom O'Brien
Jason Offutt
Ed Owen
J.  Papandrew
Greg Podolski
Rick Rantamaki
Joyce Rapier
Cappy Rearick
Susan Reinhardt
G  Richardson
Elisa Ritter
Tisha Sharp
Dana Sieben
Julie W  Smith
James L. Snyder
Bev Sobkowich
Asa Sparks
Al Speegle
Leon Stewart
Ren Summerlin
BobLee Swagger
Brian  Thompson
David Wayne
Roy P Whittaker
S.D. Youngren
Jest fer Fun!
Possum Hunt
The Word "Girl"
Deer Hunting
Cut the Mustard
Snipe Hunting
Snake Handlin'
Rooster Contest
Redneck Car
Sneaky Snake
Boiled Peanuts 
Tipsy Chicken
Fried Jelly Beans
Marriage Advice
Super Dudes
Summer Fav's
Bacon Grease
Big Butts
Purty Peggy
Tub o' Lard
Dixie Dispatch
Dixie Dispatch
Redneck Lovin'
Diggin' in Dirt
All About Dixie
Critters Varmints
Gooder'n Grits
Southern Autumn
Scared Silly
Piggin' Out
Links & Stuff
Visit Our Sites
HOT HumorLinks
Link Swap
Favorite Toons
Chicken Writer
Say Howdy!
Email a Howdy
Our Policy

Dedicated to Marta Martin  

Tribute to AsA

  Updated 1-2-08




























Just Another Trailer Park Parade

By Renee' Barnes
Well Donny really did it this time. I suppose he'll be in the hoosegow for quite a while now.
He was so proud to haul the lead float with his new Ford pickup. In fact he bragged for weeks that he'd be, "Bigger N Santa and Jesus himself ," when he could corner someone to listen. This had so offended Glenda Mae, his mother, that she swore she wouldn't attend the Christmas parade at all.
He didn't care. He was too happy to let "her" ruin it for him.
I guess it was nerves that helped him decide on a swig before the festivities began. I suppose it was force of habit that led him to chug a bit more, as he sat in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot, waiting for the signal to start his engine. I don't know if it was stupidity or inebriation that made him to do the rest.
It started out fine. He was beaming with delight as he drove down Main Street past Burger King.
Mayor Web and his wife, dressed as Santa & Mrs. Claus, waved to the crowd from the cherry picker of the town's new firetruck.
The high school football team rode by in an open trailer, pulled by a huge John Deer, driven by the owner of the local Feed & Farm Supply store.
The band, baton twirlers and cheer leaders all pranced proudly on foot, performing their individual routines.
VFW officials rode in Viet Nam Era army jeeps and threw candy to the children lining the street.
Silly little Shriner cars zig-zagged down the road, while the drivers mugged for the cameras.
The First Bank of Granite City President, "Piddly" Jenkins, drove his Beamer bringing up the rear.
The whole parade followed behind Donny and the Church of God's mobile version of the nativity, creatively arranged on the trailer he pulled, and convincingly played by the preacher and his wife, a baby doll and several of the church deacons.
Donny waved to the crowd and winked at the girls and nearly burst with pride until he reached the KFC. That's when Mary says she noticed that he "just didn't look right" and seemed to be urgently looking for something.
Then he began to speed up.
By the time they passed the Penny Save he was going about 35 miles and hour.
Standing out in front of the Kissin' Kousin, Norma Jean, clearly heard Preacher Brown's wife, Hilda, simultaneously praying in tongues, and cussing Donny, at the top of her lungs. She swears she also saw Hilda lob baby Jesus at Donny with as much power as an NFL quarterback.
As they reached Wal-Mart, Sheriff Jameson was hot on the trail with lights flashing and sirens blaring. Donny didn't slow down. He actually picked up speed and flew through town with the trailer and its passengers laying as flat as they could, holding on for dear life.
A mile or so down the road, Donny pulled into his mother's driveway and dashed into her mobile home.
Sheriff Jameson found him unarmed and cooperative in the bathroom, but called for backup anyway.
Glenda Mae had to be restrained. She is reported to have been beating Donny with a broken broom handle while screaming, "How many times have I told you to pee before you leave the house?"
The Trailer Park Queen


At an age where most are planning for retirement, Renee' has carelessly thrown all caution to the wind and stepped into the life of a humorist. Her life's ambition is for her alter ego, Trish, to be crowned Dear Abby for Trailer Trash. She spends her free time warming the couch beside her husband, watching TV, reading and coming up with more and more creative excuses to avoid housework.
Trailer Park Website:
Trailer Park Gazette:

More Funny Columns from Southern Humorists