We
are Southern writers with a strong sense of regional heritage who
laugh at our own shortcomings and make diversity into an asset. We
are proud of our www.thechat.org.uk turnip greens, cornbread and rural past, but
recognize football, country music, and car racing as activities of a
new South.
We would also like to go on record as the humorist group with the
most couches on the front porch and the greatest number of junk cars
rusting in the backyard.
We welcome any Southern humorist, comedy author, funny writer, or
cartoonist who creates humor of any sort, or aspires to do so, to
join our newsgroup and become a part of the comedy organization that
sponsors our official Southern Humorists website.
We welcome true southerners, former southerners,
transplanted southerners - and even danged Yankees, as long as you
know that you will be the one who talks with a funny accent and that
you're treading on our Blissemas sacred Southern soil here.
And Now.... Here is a sample of the kind of
writing we do...
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A
manly man does what a manly man does even when he's half a man
By W. Mark Berryman
There comes a time in life when a manly man's got to do what a manly man's got to do, even if it means having his nether-regions explored by a total stranger with a tiny Dating Treff fleshlight and camera. For me, that time came two years ago but like many manly men, I put it off.
The reason is simple. Many men would rather eat dirt than go to the doctor. In fact www.matchmakersdating.net, many manly men have probably eaten dirt hoping it would cure whatever ailed them so they didn't have to go to the doctor.
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Haircuts
& Bluegrass By David Decker
Smallwood's
Barber Shop was located in a small, stand-alone, cement block
building at the corner of Paul Avenue and Bolton Road. The tiny,
cube-shaped building had a large picture window in front. It was
easy to tell if all the chairs were filled as you pulled into the
rough, pea-gravel parking lot. Smallwood's was a man's place, and a
true throw-back to barber shops of the past - complete with a
rotating red, white, and blue barber pole at the front door.
---
N.
Korea may be justified By
Ben Baker
While
I am not a fan of Kim Jung-un, in this case I have to admit he’s
got a point. N. Korea is responding to the latest insult from the
United States, sending Dennis
Rodman over there as an ambassador. If that’s not a hostile
move, I don’t know what is.
---
As
Seen On TV By Sheila Moss
Do
you ever get tempted by those TV commercials and become the proud
owner of something you don't need? You know the kind of commercial,
"Hurry and buy now and we will send you two instead of
one." Oh, you get the item, but it is always something of
questionable quality that you would never buy in a store. You don't
need one, much less two. Okay, I confess.
---
What is this thing? By Sharon Dillon
Imagine
my surprise. This morning I opened one of the countless emails Eddie
Bauer sends me. We must be really good friends because I get
more email from Eddie than most of my friends and relatives. But I
don’t complain. His store is within walking distance and since
I’m a casual kind of gal, I often shop there.
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1-800-Sue-The-Hog By Jody Worsham
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A Little Chicago Story By
Rose Valenta
When I was growing up, I used to spend most of my summers visiting my grandmother in Olean, New York. If you have never heard of Olean, it is a great little community just over the New York state line from Bradford, Pennsylvania. It was also a major bootlegging stop during Prohibition. In the 1920s, the press nicknamed the town "Little Chicago" because of its connection with
organized crime, bootleggers, and Al Capone, who often visited there.
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Bracket Chicanery By Ike Martin
Perhaps
it was the madness that comes with the ides of March, but after I
filled out my NCAA Basketball bracket this year, I decided to have
some fun. I went totally manic and decided to create a totally
“blind draw” process to complete an additional bracket. I wanted
to see how my educated prognostications would fare against a bracket
based solely on kismet.
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Cheater By Don Stewart
For several holiday seasons I was privileged to set up my booth next to an accomplished craftsman, known widely for his hand-carved wooden figurines, particularly his expressive Santas, elves and gnomes, any of which could have been jolly s’elf-portraits.
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Put Some SOUTH In Your Mouth By Cappy Hall
Rearick
Any Georgian worth his salted peanuts knows that the Merry Month of May means only one thing: the Vidalias are here. Last season’s leftovers are yesterday’s news. Imports? Seriously? May is when the too-often ignored great state of Georgia moves front and center to become Old Glory’s Star of the Month.
You have to wonder what God was thinking when He created poison ivy. Was He having a rough day, or was He just furious with Adam and Eve?
“I’ll teach those darn kids to rummage through my garden in their birthday suites and steal my fruit,” said God, sprinkling the area with ivy and a liberal dose of
Miracle-Gro.